Extreme Makeover: Wednesday One-Liners Edition

Guy to chick with him: I'd hold your hand, but my heart hates uggoes.

--67th & 1st

Girl watching two hot Mormon guys walk by: I think it evens out. I have actually seen ugly Mormons.

--Flatbush & 5th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: stephanie k

Dude: Yeah, she's not ugly, but she's definitely not pretty. But she wants me to set her up with one of my friends. I told her that they're all either married or ugly, but then I realized I should set her up with one of the uglies because it'll help her self esteem.

--Rangers Game, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Veronica

Hoochie: I mean, he's not the ugliest guy I've made out with. I made out with a guy who looked like Alf.

--Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Tater Tot

Old guy: I'm a good judge of character. That's why I never talk to her. That and because she's got a face like a foot. I never talk to ugly people.

--Viacom elevator, 1515 Broadway