Poli-Sci professor: … And the FCC makes rulings so that you can’t show nipples at the Super Bowl.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Girl: Wouldn’t it be weird to kill someone using only your nipples?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Argopelter

Tan chick: I don’t want those black bitches looking at my nipples.

–L train

20-ish broad: I just don’t think the tassles are big enough to fit over my nipples.

–Momofuku Ssam Bar, 13th & 2nd

Overheard by: McFreaky

Ghetto dude rapping to friends: Yo, the hash balls there are bigger than your girl’s nipples!

–E 4th St & Ave A

Overheard by: punkee

Nerd: My nipples are so hard they could pick a lock.

–Javits Center

Overheard by: Allisa

Sorostitute: Tonight would have been so much better if my nipple hadn’t exploded.

–Marriott, Times Square