At the Bad Date Semifinals

Preppy girl with Starbucks cup: That was some shitty-ass coffee.
Preppy guy: Speaking of shitty, Cap'n Nemo's got nothin' on me. I shat a white whale in there. It was two feet long and, I'm tellin' you, it was white! Like, white and one solid length! Took it first try, though. They have good toilets.

--PATH, Christopher St station

Overheard by: Zenana