Old woman laughing for no apparent reason: We seem like we’re on something!

–52nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Bo Vanderpants

Chick: He’s not a stalker, he’s just this old guy who follows me home.

–Fried Dumpling

Very old lady to another: Last time you fell down it cost 10 thousand dollars.

–Central Park

Teen guy to two pals: Think about an 80-year-old woman. How many dicks has she seen in her lifetime? A lot.

–Ground Zero

Old woman to car with right of way turning into intersection: Just keep driving, you fucking maniac! It’s fucking Christmas, you bastard!

–54th & 3rd

Overheard by: cordy

Woman outside stall: I’m throwing my dad a birthday party because he’s turning 90 and he’s not dead yet.

–Restroom, Jane restaurant, W Houston, between LaGuardia & Thompson

Overheard by: Colleen!

Old lady, about old guy with walker: We’ll be going to that funeral soon.

–West Way Cafe

Overheard by: EmilyPicard