Guy: I was laughing so hard gas was coming out of my buttocks!

–Astor Pl

Overheard by: Allie

Loud girl to boyfriend: You know what would be great? If you could stop making those vicious smelly farts and then looking around like it’s somebody else. We all know it’s you.

–A train

Lady to friend: No, seriously! ‘Cause it was like, two hundred farts per whatever, and it should really only be like 35.

–Charlton & Varick St

Overheard by: sophie

Loud little boy: Mommy, I feel much better now! Yes, I did! I farted!

–W 71st & Columbus

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Guy: Good god, my farts smell like cum!

–Christopher St

Overheard by: Deeply Troubled

20-something chick on cell: No, it’s ridiculous. She’s afraid to shit in his house ’cause he thinks girls don’t shit. I mean, how many times have they had anal? Obviously the hole is there for something… I hope she farts on his dick.

–1 train

Overheard by: jenny

Blind guy walking dog: Ughhh, I just farted… Good morning, New York. I love you.

–Central Park

Overheard by: AMOS