Guy: The nun at work keeps hitting on me!

–Havana Central, 113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Arogpelter

Panhandler: Donations? Give to the church of malt liquor!

–St. Mark’s Pl, between 1st & 2nd St

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Student running through hall: I need my Bible!

–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island

Overheard by: lol

Woman on cell: Hi, sweetie. I just wanted to call you back, real quick ’cause I’m on my cell, and tell you something else God wanted me to tell you.

–GWB Port Authority

30-ish guido seeing girl with ashes on foreheard: You know, I’ve noticed that the church is making better ashes.

–102nd & Broadway

Overheard by: what does that even mean?!

Manager: Ben! Quit it with the stigmata! We’ve talked about this!

–Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Teen boy: We should pray to Josh’s parents so they give us a plasma screen TV.

–A train

Overheard by: Paula