Woman: Why are you not breathing? You’re the worst patient ever! –ER, Methodist Hospital Overheard by: Gena Hipster to boyfriend: So, I lost three pounds last week. It’s because I went to the gynecologist… –28th & 8th Overheard by: Waiting for the next sentence Nurse pushing old man in wheelchair: I’m not a real nurse. –St. John’s Hospital Boyfriend to girlfriend as they consume foot-long hotdogs: You’ve gotta ask yourself one question. Are you prepared to put your hands in shit every day? Because that’s all a job in health care is — putting your hands in shit. –45th & 8th Overheard by: kat EMT rolling patient in on stretcher: This is the most ghetto hospital ever! –ER, Woodhull Hospital, Brooklyn