Dude: I miss my machete.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ash

Guy: For his 21st birthday I’m buying him a samurai sword. For his wedding I’m gonna buy him a giant samurai sword!

–Tower Records, W 4th St

Overheard by: Not a samurai

Little kid: It’s chainsaw time!

–New Jersey Transit train

Overheard by: DrewDrewDrew

Frizzy woman on cell: I mean, c’mon — it’s not like it was a knife, bitch, it was just scissors!

–37th & 5th

Overheard by: K