Nine-year-old boy to friends: Don’t be talking smack about Jesus. He was one of our greatest presidents! –Q train Overheard by: J-Lo Hip chick in black whose dog poops in street: No! No! Jesus fucking Christ! [Looks up and notices she’s in front of large church.] Oops. –71st & Amsterdam Overheard by: She didn’t even pick it up High school boy: He’s like a fat homeless Jesus who stole a rich man’s coat. –Bronx Soccer mom to another: You know, Friday nights are always a great time for Jesus. –82nd and Columbus Overheard by: Just bought a bottle of Jack to share with Jesus Student on phone: All I have to say about being friends with Jesus is that unlimited fish sandwiches and wine doesn’t sound like a bad deal. –NYU Crazy guy: Praise Jesus! But stay outta my way — I will stab you. –W 17th St Overheard by: dawllyllama Girl to friend: I mean, come on — who really cares about Jesus? –Elevator, NYU Silver Center