Girl: I have to announce when I’m scratching my mons, because I don’t want people to think I’m just standing on the street all sketchily masturbating in public. –M86 bus Freshman: You should just go into a different room, masturbate, and then come back! –Fordham University, Rose Hill Overheard by: Rachel Hoban Dude: It’s so hot out! I mean, if it was cold I’d jerk off to warm up. –Stuyvesant Town Overheard by: Maia Man on cell: So, you faked six orgasms?! And you weren’t even masturbating? –Outside Big Jimmy’s, 77th & 2nd Overheard by: (a very confused) bronxelf Hipster on cell: Do you know how boring life would be if you didn’t have to think at all? If you just sat around all day jerking off? God, I showed you what that was like. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Different strokes Pretty girl: Well, I’m probably prettier than any girl you’ve ever talked to in a club! [Other riders clap.] Have fun with your hand tonight! –1 train Overheard by: Bri