Lady: You did things to me while I was sleeping! The truth will come out! … Can I have a cigarette? –74th & Ridge Blvd Conductor: There is no smoking on this train! There is no smoking on this train or the platform! I repeat, there is no smoking on this train! If you continue to smoke, I will stop this train and the gendarmes will come and get you! –Metro-North, Bronx Dude on cell: Hold on one sec, I’m watching Jimmy try to smoke a cigarette right now and it’s like watching a Special Olympics hurdler. –Upper West Side Overheard by: djw Girl on cell: Try smoking it. You should try smoking it. –26th & Broadway Hobo peeking in train: Hold the doors for me, okay? I’m just going to have a smoke. –C train Stoner chick: What if we actually want to bake something? We’ll have smoked all our vanilla extract! –Elderidge & Rivington Overheard by: Karin