Student: … And in Soviet Russia, penis sucks you.

–Stuyvesant High

Conductor: This is Prospect Park. Next stop: Cambodia. Cambodia is next.

–Q train

Overheard by: Lucas Krech

Dude on cell: Oh, I forgot to tell you — I was deported from Italy!

–JFK

History teacher: I’ve never been to Guatemala. Every time I try to go they have a revolution.

–Stuyvesant High

Overheard by: The nerve of those guys

Crazy guy ascending escalator, arms outstretched: Welcome to the United Nations!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Lizzy Fo Shizzy

Amateur foreign relations expert: You see, the Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda — there’s a massacre I can respect.

–2 train, Chambers St

Overheard by: pumpkin

Creepy-laugh-guy: Hahaha. Well… I’d have to take you out of the country to do that.

–W 3rd & LaGuardia