Loudspeaker: Sir, do not take a dump on the platform, sir. Sir, do not take a dump on the platform! –Times Square 42nd St. station Overheard by: JohnnyD Teen to friends: Man, for about two weeks this girl had me convinced that girls don’t poop. Somehow it came up in conversation and she was just like, ‘What are you talking about? Girls don’t poop.’ Idiot. I was like, ‘Ohhh my god.’ –A train Overheard by: Moheed Crazy man to old lady: You down with OPP? You down with OPP? You down with OPP? Because I just pooped. –Shuttle to Times Square Guy in stall, on cell: What am I doing? I’m dropping the kids off at the pool… What do you mean, what do I mean?… I’m taking a shit!… Hold on, I’ll hold the phone by my ass so you can hear the turd splash. –Men’s room, Ruby Tuesday Overheard by: Big Larry Woman on cell: Why does he always do that? He just stopped in the middle of the street, looked me straight in the eyes, and took a giant, steamy dump. –5th St & Ave A Lady on cell: Well, it’s not like you can catch anything from yourself. It’s other people’s feces you have to worry about. –55th & 8th Overheard by: Murph