Clerk: My water tastes like the soup we had yesterday. And I can’t decide whether to keep drinking it or not.

–Housing Works Bookstore

Overheard by: Tommy Raiko

Buppie on cell: Listen, I’ll come over, we’ll brew some tea, and then we’ll get hammered.

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Justine

Guy’s guy: My 19th birthday is Monday… Yeah, I think I’m gonna cry… I don’t know, I’ve been crying a lot lately. Like, I was reading a Times Book Review the other day, and at the end I just started crying… I know! I think it’s all the soy milk I’ve been drinking.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Mbeezers

Black lady: Cold water here! Cold water! Come and get your cold water! Black people, come and get your cold water from a sista. Jewish people, come and get your cold water, it’s kosher.

–Union Square

Overheard by: alana landa

Professor: I completely understand if anyone feels like committing suicide after this class. Or drinking a pint of whiskey. Both are appropriate responses.

–Fordham University Rose Hill

Overheard by: raqqy

Short guy in lavender polo: And I just flewww that cranberry juice right up to that wedding!

–Canal St

RA to freshman: Forties are like the new Cristal. They’re economic… They’re sociable… And yeah, yeah that’s it.

–Columbia freshman dorm lounge

Overheard by: Columbia Freshman