Conductor: This is the 2:40 local train to Babylon. For those of you who have not passed out, this train makes all local stops. For those of you who have passed out… I’ll see you in Babylon… –LIRR train leaving Penn Station Overheard by: Bill Reese Conductor: The next stop is Harlem, 125th. Then we’re off to Grand Central Terminal. Write it down, you passengers, write it down. –Metro-North Sarcastic, monotone conductor: This is a D train to Manhattan… apparently. [Later] Woo-hoo. Finally, 36th Street. –D train Overheard by: i don’t like that dude Conductor: This is Carroll Street. If you transfer to the uptown F or G train here, there are less stairs, but there is a nice breeze at Smith and Ninth Street. –F train Overheard by: Eileen Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being held here because the drawbridge is in the open position, and I don’t think I know how to swim. –Metro-North Overheard by: mark Conductor: This train goes straight to Newark-Penn Station. Newark, the pride of the Passaic river! –NJ Transit, Penn Station Overheard by: Care Conductor: For those of you that are interested, Penn Station is next. For those that aren’t, it still is. –LIRR Overheard by: Xavier