Hairy guy: She’d be like, ‘Jebediah, get off the Sybian and till those fields!’ –Amtrak Overheard by: Hot Bi Luvr Woman with man and kids: I mean, he didn’t even get me a fuckin’ vibrator! –51st & 9th Guy shouting at friend halfway down the carriage: Naw bro, my momma’s too big for you, she use you as a dildo nigga. –Brooklyn-bound L train Overheard by: Mitchell Chick on cell: I know everyone thinks that it won’t work out because he’s gay and I’m a lesbian, but he says I’m the sexiest person with a strap-on he’s ever seen. And plus, I get a free trip to Puerto Rico out of it. –Franklin & Church Overheard by: Jenny Dude to friends: Instead of a sex swing I wish he had a video camera so I could see what she looked like. –72nd & Broadway Hipster dude to friend eating sandwich: So, is there a dildo in it? –Rivington & Ludlow Overheard by: aryn