How Wily Odysseus Escaped the Island of Calypso

Conductor on PA: Excuse me, ma'am, maybe it would work better if you went to the next door -- it's less crowded. [Lady walks to next door, but before she gets there the conductor closes them.] Haha, bitch! Toot, toot!

--Crowded 2 train

Overheard by: CeLia