Wednesday One-Liners Quit Their Day Jobs for Stand-up

Hobo to chick: You're looking nice this evening! [She ignores him.] Normally you look like shit.

--Lafayette & White

Hobo eating entire roast chicken: You got a quarter for some food? Haven't eaten in days.

--73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: mosugs

Hobo: Hey, look! It's everyone's favorite bum! [He's ignored.] Oh, geez, that went over well.

--Outside Gray's Papaya

Overheard by: Zach

Hobo to high school students: Hey, kids -- stay smart, stay in school... Yeah! Be cool, stay in school! Someone's got to arrest me one day!

--60th & 10th

Hobo: The fed done lowered interest rates again! You gentlemen get to keep mo' money in yo' pocket. Please donate a dollar to help me keep these financial updates as a free service.

--Beaver St

Overheard by: Big Larry

Hobo: I take American Express!

--West Village

Overheard by: Only had a Visa

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, please help keep our trains moving. Get out and push!

--A train