Black lady to coworker: Girl, I got me a real bad paper cut this afternoon. Hurt like a bitch! I swears, a real bad paper cut hurts more than actually being stabbed. –M3 bus Overheard by: Mooka Chick on cell: I can’t decide if I want to fuck you or push you into oncoming traffic on the BQE. –51st & Lex Young girl to young guy: I don’t know you yet, so you can’t hit. –Union Square Overheard by: So happy to have finally overheard something worth submitting! Guy on cell: Yeah, I got a fuckin’ ass whoopin’ for him on lay away, though. –36th & 8th Overheard by: Jenn Crotchety old man: The best part was when his daughter stabbed him in the neck with scissors. –Outside AMC, Times Square Overheard by: Max Wastler