40-ish Jewish guy to another: Oh, guess what? My paternity test from the Bahamas came back negative, so that was good news. –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1 Guy to girl: Oh, don’t! No! Don’t even think about pulling the ‘My dad committed suicide’ card! Not here, not now. It’s not fair! –NYU Hawker: Good morning! AM New York! Good morning! You are the father! –50th & Broadway Overheard by: Bronx Thomas O’Connor Little girl: Look! Horse poop! Horse poop! My daddy’s allergic to horse poop! –Central Park JAP: When he told me what his father did for a living I felt a little pang in the snobby part of my heart. –86th & Amsterdam