35-ish lady to friend: I don’t even have anything in my mouth, and I still feel American. –Smith & President Ferry captain: Welcome to the United States. All crew members please report for docking… –Manhattan-bound ferry Overheard by: wondering where we were before… Female writing professor: No, keep your mind on your money and your money on your mind. This is America, people — don’t be crazy. –NYU Silver Center Overheard by: Nina Chick: Bleeding to death? Brain damage? I’m leaning towards gangrene. That’s just so all-American, Oregon Trail, you know? If he’s in this country, he’d better be ready to die like it. –Union Square Overheard by: Michelle Professor: Brooklyn is not part of Long Island the same way New York is not part of America. We’re not in America right now. –NYU Overheard by: And Staten Island doesn’t exist. Boricua thug: So I say, ‘Why you be poopin’ on the shirts of America?’ –5th Ave