He Forgot to Pull Up His Tights

Drunk male ballet dancer: Can I have your attention, please? I'm not asking for money -- I just want to let you all know that I need to pee and I'm going to step between the cars for a moment. I'll be right back, don't worry. [He steps out of the car onto the walkway for a few seconds, then comes back in. Whole car applauds.]

--1 train