Defensive fat lady, as young guy looks accusingly at her: Oh, no, you better don’t. I saw you tilt. –Crowded 1/9 train Overheard by: Joseph Happy hobo: I just farted… Yes, all by myself! –McDonald’s Big black guy, after someone let out very smelly fart: Well, I hope somebody feels better! –Long line at Port Authority bus terminal Hipster boy to friends: I mean, last night we have a conversation about how I’m not respected, and this morning I’m being farted on. Why? Why?! –Morgan Ave stop