Queer black guy to white fag hag: My skin used to be much lighter, but then I joined the marching band.

–N train

Overheard by: Ashley

Loud woman: So, this guy kept trying to borrow the guitar, and I thought, Who is this guy? He was so strung out he could only play one chord, but Zach was like, ‘Hey, you’ve heard of the Rolling Stones?’ And I said yes, and he said, ‘Well, that was one of the Rolling Stones.’ It was Keith Richards!

–Hungarian Pastry Shop, 111th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: embly

Suit: Think of it as intercourse, not playing the guitar.

–45th & 8th

Overheard by: chica_boom

Girl, about musical she just saw: This will sound really weird, but different instruments made me have to pee more. I was like, ‘Damn you, saxophone!’

–Starbucks

Crazy ‘Nam vet to pack of musician passersby: Musical instruments are the tools of professional rapists!

–Williamsburg Bridge

Overheard by: bort