Man to friend: I wonder if that dingleberry fell out of my ass yet.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: #2

Drunk guy: Yeah, I’d pick corn out of your shit to have sex with you.

–5th & Ave B

Fourth grade boy #1: I love to be eatin’ the dead skin off the bottom of my feet. It be tastin’ mad salty! [Friend smiles and nods in agreement.]

–Classroom, 106th & 1st

Little kid, screaming: Pick my nose! Pick my nose! Pick my nose! Pick my nose!

–JFK

Overheard by: Ladle