Hobo: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Edwin, but you can call me ‘Homeless Ed’… Or just ‘Homeless’ for short. –A train Hobo: Hey, y’all! I ain’t gonna lie to you — I am homeless, and I just want a piece of ass, some drugs, and a 40. Ten bucks for a piece of ass? Someone gonna give me some money for some crack cocaine? –Line outside Roseland Ballroom, 52nd & Broadway Hobo to horse leading carriage: Dude, you rock! [Gives horse a peace sign.] –56th & 10th Overheard by: PetRunner Crazy hobo: Well, jumping Jehoshaphats! Some homeless person has abandoned his station! I will assume his identity and no one will ever know that I’m rich! –3rd Ave, between 34th & 35th St Overheard by: His secret’s safe with me Toothless hobo on stoop: Excuse me, sir, could you write me a check for five cents and I’ll pay you back on Tuesday? –7th & 2nd