Man on cell, playfully: Who are you? Who are you? Why are you in my house? Who are you? Where’s my wife? If I come home and you’re still there, I’m going to stick a hot sausage up there… A hot sausage up there! And a hot dog up your butthole. A hot sausage up there and a hot dog on the other side, and we’ll see who gets which one first. –President & 5th, Park Slope Overheard by: Nick Draven Chick: I don’t know how much further up his ass I need to be. I mean, I’m already really far up his ass already… –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Alan Hipster girl: … And then he had his finger up my boyfriend’s asshole! –Cargo Cafe, Staten Island Student: If a steak comes out of your butt, I’ll worship you. Screw school — you can just win bets by betting on whether a steak will come out of your butt. Just put a towel and move it away and be, like, ‘Ta-da!’ –CCNY Overheard by: Liz