Dude to pal: Hey, it’s nice out — we should go get handjobs. –Old Town Tavern, 18th & Park Overheard by: not a bad idea Saleslady to another: The nicer I am to my boyfriend, the crappier he treats me. Maybe I will bake him something with a laxative in it… –Queens Mall Hobo orator: Forty-second Street was a nice place — full of crackheads — until Guiliani came around and cleaned it up. –N/R/Q station, 42nd St Dad with two kids, in sing-song voice: Stop it… Stop it… Please be good… Please be nice… Please stop biting me… –LIRR waiting area, Penn Station Pilot: Passengers in first class will be receiving a nice, warm breakfast served by our lovely stewardesses… Coach will be receiving cold breakfast. [Pause] Wow, that really sucks. –Connecting flight to Gatwick Airport Overheard by: Annoyed Passenger Loud guy on cell: I did it because I’m a really nice guy. I have a great line of credit at Circuit City. –111th & Broadway Overheard by: Snapdragon