Wednesday One-Liners Are Not in Kansas Anymore

Tourist mom to daughter: This is a train station.

--Lobby of the MetLife building

Tourist on cell: I just humped Timmy in Times Square!

--Times Square

Tourist girl to no one, pointing out window: Oh my god, they actually have carts in New York that sell pretzels?! It's actually true?!

--Boston-bound Greyhound

Tourist girl to boyfriend: Wow, New York is just like Ohio!

--Fast food corridor, Penn Station

Overheard by: Bean

Tourist to guide: Is it illegal to pick your nose in America?

--79th & 5th

Tourist kid: So, this has nothing to do with batteries?

--Battery Park

Overheard by: Good thing I have an iPhone