Hot chick: Oh, you live on Amsterdam? I used to live on Amsterdam. I threw a bowl of diarrhea out of my window once. Don’t do drugs! –27th & 30th, Astoria Queer: I have to buy some toilet paper today. I’m tired of wiping my ass with cocktail napkins. –36th & Park Tipsy dude: Do you know what’s awesome? Giant robots can’t even shit on people! –Sly Fox bar, East Village Overheard by: Cait O’Connor Student on cell: Hello, professor? Professor? Oh, he’s taking a shit? Okay, I’ll call back later. –Arthur Ave Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand Girl: He pulled out and she shit all over. [Friend puts down her chopsticks.] –Oyama Sushi Overheard by: No longer hungry