Wednesday One-Liners Are Moving to Florida Soon

Teen girl on cell: So, this weekend I have to go to Louisiana. Can you believe it? My grandmother's dying. Yeah, again -- she's dying again. My grandmother is always dying. I can't believe I have to go to Louisiana.

--Union Square

Father to four-year-old daughter facing American Indian in bear costume: Looks like Grandma, doesn't it?

--Museum of Natural History

Girl on cell with boyfriend: So, what? I can't talk down to your grandmother in front of you? What's fucking wrong with that?!

--Jamaica Ave & Parsons Blvd

Overheard by: Rod-Rod

Latina on cell: What am I supposed to tell her? 'Oh, my grandma's dying and my cat's eating her toes, and... um... I lost the papers'? I can't do that... [After pause, she switches to rapid Spanish.]

--30th & 6th

Overheard by: avenueF

Creepster: I would totally marry my grandmother.

--Sly Fox, 9th & 2nd

Overheard by: Will