Conductor: People, the train is too crowded… Just like OJ — if you can’t fit, you must quit. –6 train Mom to kid: Say, ‘Excuse me,’ and if they don’t move, then you can push them out of the way ’cause you said ‘excuse me.’ –Crowded D train, Brooklyn Overheard by: teany Crushed geriatric lady: If this train were anymore crowded you could get pregnant! –3 train Overheard by: glad i’m on the pill Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, as I said before, this train is overcrowded. I am very attractive, but there are other attractive conductors on the train behind this one. –6 train Man, to his six-year-old child: You can push through the crowd, okay? Just watch your face. –Train at 57th & 7th