Teacher: Little known fact — you can still get crabs even if you wear a condom. Those suckers just jump from one person to the next, and then you have to go to the doctor and say, ‘Yes, I’m a dirty human being.’ –Bronx Science Woman with wine glass on cell: Your sister is about to fuck my ex-husband and FYI — he has herpes. –Outside the Hudson Hotel Yuppie to chick: You look like you have herpes, but I’d sleep with you anyways. –51st & 9th Overheard by: A. Bystander Chick on cell: Dude, like when Princeton claimed everything was confidential from our parents, but I got a copy of a bill they sent them that said, clearly, ‘Chlamydia and gonorrhea test…’ –113th & Broadway Overheard by: McF. Chick to friends: That’s a story for when you’re fucking and you say, ‘Hey, you only get AIDS once…’ –10th & Ave B