But You Have to Get AIDS If You Really Want to Keep It Off

Junior girl #1: I know! So many people are getting mono now -- it's ridiculous.
Junior girl #2: I know! Kaitlyn and I agreed that if one of us gets it, we're giving it to the other.
Junior girl #1: Why?
Kaitlyn: Because you get sooo skinny when you get mono! It's, like, the best way to lose weight!
Junior girl #1: Oh.

--Dining hall of private school