FedEx guy to passerby: Hey, they’re my trousers! What are you doing wearing my fuckin’ trousers?! –Houston & 1st Man with water-cooler jug of coins: Please give to help the homeless. Anything can help… A smile, a pork chop, a pair of pants… –55th & 5th Jersey hoochie walks by, her thong showing conspicuously. Matter-of-fact mom to eight-year-old son: That girl’s going to lose her pants. –NJ Transit terminal, Penn Station Overheard by: cockrin Guy on phone: … And so I put my hands in his pants and realized, ‘Oh my god, I’m gay!’ –McDonald’s, Times Square Little boy to mother: These pants are too small! I’m gonna get a yeast infection if I put these on! –Target Overheard by: The dressing room next door