Best Possible Place to Throw Up

Ana JAP #1: Do you have fat free ice cream?
Cashier: Uh, no.
Ana JAP #1: What about, like, sorbet?
Cashier: We have sugar-free sorbet.
Ana JAP #2: Can we try it? [Cashier gets three sample spoons.]
Ana JAP #3: Oh my god, I can't do this.
Jap #1: Yeah. Sorry, we're not going to get anything.
Ana JAP #3: Yeah. Sorry.
Ana JAP #2: That was a moment of weakness!
Ana JAP #1: My god. I know! [To the cashier] Is there an Urban Outfitters around here?

--Ben & Jerry's, 3rd Ave

Overheard by: How can I walk with this heavy cream on my ass?