Wednesday One-Liners Will Use a Condom Next Time

Father to three-year-old son: The ruler of the universe says to stop chattering.

--7th Ave, Park Slope

Scolding mother to little son as she yanks him along: You tryin' to be hip? You tryin' to be a hipster? Is that how they do it?

--Prospect Park

Mom to infant who keeps dropping his toy: Okay, let's try this -- how 'bout I throw you on the ground?!

--13th & 5th

Mother to chatty child: Don't you have your pacifier? So pacify!

--Kingsborough Community College, Brooklyn

Child-free woman to stranger's crying baby: Oh, wait, things get much worse.

--Throggs Neck, Bronx

Overheard by: Jeri