Girl: I gotta wake up at eight AM for this class, and I ain’t even curin’ AIDS or anythin’! –Columbia University Teen buying travel-size toothpaste, toothbrush, and mouthwash: Do you have a bathroom?! Can I use your bathroom?! I just made out with a guy who has herpes — you have to let me use the goddamn bathroom! –Duane Reade, Amsterdam JAP on cell: Well, was it a lot of herpes? –24th & 6th Overheard by: Austin Chick: It was alright… He did me in the butt. Wait… Can you get STDs from doing it in the butt? [Friend laughs.] What’s funny? I’m serious! –Manhattan-bound L train Suit on cell: He wants a birthday present, too? I already gave him chlamydia this week! Who does he think I am, fucking Santa?! –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: JoshOnTheBus