Professor: I’m gonna show you a little old insertion trick that my grandmother taught me. It works great. –Columbia University Overheard by: wba2101 Professor: Everyone is here except the person who is not here. –City College Overheard by: ClaRity Latin professor: So, what Tibullus is trying to say is that old women have to be in the beauty parlor a lot! Beauty doesn’t come as easily as when you’re 18 and always looking great… Well, I suppose that’s not exactly true. As I look around the room, I see that sometimes you girls could use some work in the mornings. –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Overheard by: Kate Melvin Professor: My wife has many male friends… I don’t ask questions. –NYU Law professor: It’s possible… Just like it’s possible I’ll get raptured at any minute. –NYU Law School