As Close to Chivalry As New Yorkers Get

Girl crying on doorstep: Just leave so I can live my life!
Guy friend: I would, but I don't think I should leave you. If anything, you should leave me so I know you're okay.
Girl: That's the gayest, most '80s thing I've ever heard! [Guy, laughing hysterically, gets up and walks away.]
Guy friend: Bravo -- that was the best insult I've ever heard in my life!

--8th & Ave C