Wednesday One-Liners Can't Hear a Word You're Saying

Mom to two-year-old bawling in stroller: Adriana, I am not going to argue with you -- you are not getting an iPod!

--14th St, between 5th & 6th Ave

Panhandler: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I'm homeless, and I'm hungry. If anyone can help me out with food, something to drink, a spare iPod, a Macy's gift card, or anything else that rhymes with that, I'd appreciate it. I know you're human. We have to help each other out. If you were slaves, I'd free all of you. Even the white people.

--Manhattan-bound A train

Overheard by: courtenay

Mother yelling at misbehaving 11-year-old son: Do you want to be grounded from your iPod this weekend?

--22nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Dave H.

Aerobics instructor: Yeah, I've got everything I need -- I've got an iPod, I've got a boyfriend...

--W 63rd & West End Ave

Overheard by: Suze V

Gay barista with asymmetrically-fashioned hair: Oh, yeah, I had really fancy ear bud headphones, too... But then I dropped them in a puddle of my own vomit on the subway, so now I have cheap ones. Yeah, that sucked.

--Bushwick Ave, East Williamsburg

Old woman pointing at guy's iPod: Excuse me, young man, but what is that?

--Times Square shuttle

Overheard by: goofopet