Secretary in stall, to another: I told her that in this position she has to wear her teeth in. You can’t go around here with no teeth in your mouth.

–Office restroom, Midtown

Overheard by: Anonymous Law Firm Employee

Woman on cell: What? Turn your hearing aid up! Put your teeth in! I can’t understand you!

–Prince & Broadway

Guy to girlfriend: Hey, babe, I gotta run to the interview. Can you check my teeth for hairs?

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Guy

Saucy Latina: She has the hair of every dental hygienist I’ve ever known.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: McFreaky

Girl on cell: What?! You haven’t showered in a day? At what time? Pedro Miguel*, that is nasty! Your balls must be sweaty and stinky. Smell your underwear… Have you even wiped them with a baby wipe, at least? Have you at least brushed your teeth? You’ve brushed your teeth, but not showered? How is that not nasty?!

–Bx12 bus

Overheard by: SilentButDeadly

Hobo: Does anyone have an extra toothbrush or two dozen eggs to spare?

–Outside Gristede’s, UES

Overheard by: no eggs to spare