Husband: Geez! Alls you do is sit on your ass and play with the kids.
Wife: I’m sorry I am not Carol-freaking-Brady! We have six fucking kids and I still have no Alice! Give me a break and cook dinner your-fucking-self! The kids are eating PB&J — end of discussion.
Husband: The Brady Bunch was for me like Snow White was for you.
Wife: But the dwarfs here don’t whistle while they work. I still want Alice!
Husband: You always get the last word. I can’t top that! Dammit!

–Soho

Overheard by: Laura