Bus driver: Just a friendly reminder, folks: it is now holiday season! Holiday shopping season! So, for those of you who insist on utilizing the crosstown bus, please remember to add six hours onto your regular travel time! –M14D crosstown bus Conductor: This is the A express. Forty-second Street is next. And remember: only ten shopping days left until Christmas! –A train, 59th St Overheard by: Call me Santa Man on cell: What did I get you for for Christmas last year? … Oh, yeah, I bought you all that! [Smiles sheepishly.] Well, I ain’t buying you shit this Christmas! –1 train Overheard by: marcusmarc Old black dude to Salvation Army Santa: Hahaha! You ring that bell like a faggot! –33rd & 7th Conductor: Now would be a good time to discuss the idea of pickpockets — they’re running wild everywhere during this Christmas time! And that’s your paranoia for the day! –F train Santa on cell: Bro, I totally almost fucked a girl dressed as a reindeer last night. –Ludlow St Overheard by: ryan Conductor: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you’re all doing well. Just wanted to remind you to take all your belongings with you as you exit the train. Have a wonderful holiday… Be safe, be good, and if you can’t be good, be good-looking. –2 train Overheard by: apparently out of luck