Woman on cell: He wouldn’t know where the hell my G-spot was if it hit him in the face with female ejaculation.

–Central Park

Overheard by: albus severus

Garage attendant: Sex is better when you’re all sweaty. If she can’t grab your ass, she’ll slide right off!

–Parking garage, Edgecombe Ave

Overheard by: Lalaith

Frat boy: … So I look down and I see vagina juices all down the side of my pants.

–NYU dining hall

Old Russian lady blows nose into her palm and flings it behind her, almost hitting black woman.

Black woman: Lady, you got to watch what you’re doing! You can’t be doin’ that shit! You almost hit me with your snot!

–Queens Blvd, Rego Park

Dentist: Wow, your saliva just spurted like a whale!

–10th & 3rd

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Woman in dressing room: There’s a booger on the wall in here. I wonder what the proper etiquette is for this.

–MEXX, 5th Ave

Overheard by: Sarah