Girl to friend: Yeah, so when he enlisted, he totally asked me to marry him and was like, ‘I’ll get more money so I can send it to you, and if you really want to get married to someone else some day, then we can get divorced’! And he, like, was totally sincere about it. It was so sweet. –E 49th & 5th Overheard by: karen Young suit: You can’t break up with me just because I married her while we’re engaged! It’s not like I love her or anything… Like you’ve never married anyone for a green card! –79th & Lex Overheard by: cd Man on cell: Hello? Hello? Hey, is that you, Brenda*? Yeah, yeah, it’s me, Mikey*. Say, how you been doin’? Listen, you still married? You happily married? [Long pause.] Oh. Okay, listen, gotta run. You take care of yourself! –54th & 7th Woman on cell: If only they made penis-shaped wedding tuxes. –Victoria’s Secret, Chelsea Overheard by: Ladle Professor, on Dido and Aeneas’ relationship in The Aeneid: Fucking in a cave does not equal marriage! –Sarah Lawrence College Overheard by: loving her lit lecture 30-something strolling down street, to himself: Oh, shit, I forgot my wife. –Brooklyn Overheard by: Kat