Fat woman: I’ll be rolling in my grave, sayin’, ‘I ate all them collard greens, y’hear?!’

–President St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Nick Draven

Four-year-old girl on bike to two-year-old brother on scooter: Brian, you scared all the salad out of me!

–Ave B, between 5th & 6th St

Overheard by: santa’s boy toy

Fordham student: Some time after I eat asparagus, you’ll all have to come and smell my pee.

–Fordham University

Chick: You can’t live your life in a corn maze.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Elderly carnivore to elderly vegetarian: What about vegetables? They have lives, too.

–Q train

Overheard by: Rich Weksberg