Drunk woman in long fur coat: Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me! I gotta pee!
Tourist: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for a while. [Nods in direction of unattended mop soaking in bucket, and laughs] I mean, you could always use that thing, I guess.
Drunk woman: Okay, alright — just tell me if anyone is coming! [Hikes up coat and begins to pee in bucket.]
Tourist: Jesus Christ! I’ve been here one day, and I’m responsible for encouraging public urination.

–Line for restroom, McDonald’s, Times Square

Overheard by: wish i’d thought of that