Hipster chick: … And I was like, ‘I want a boyfriend!’ and God was like, ‘Hello!’ –43rd & 6th Lady on cell: You’ll have to get a Hispanic boyfriend. Or someone ethnic… Go out with the Jew! –49th & 8th Bus driver: No phones on the bus. I don’t care if you got problems with your mother, or your brother, or girlfriend got a problem with boyfriend, or boyfriend got a problem with girlfriend, or girlfriend-girlfriend, or boyfriend-boyfriend, or just you got a sad, pathetic life, because other passengers do not like to hear those things. And if you sleep, leave your shoes on — people take their shoes off, it smells like fish market. –Port Authority, Greyhound to Philadelphia Ghetto girl: This weekend I found out that my boyfriend had a wife, and my dad got hit on by another man. –6 train 20-ish chick: Remember when I used to call my fuck-buddy the ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ of boyfriends? –Apartment party, 113th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Lady on cell: Did you see that girl’s butt today?! Did you see her butt?! Ewww! It was like my boyfriend’s! –John St