Undomesticated Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: That? Oh, that's nothing. It's just a bunch of angry baboons trapped behind a...

--Columbia University

Overheard by: wish I'd caught that last word

Barnard bimbette, about global warming: So, with the polar bears drowning and all, like, what are people worried about? Because, like, there are polar bears at the Central Park Zoo and stuff...

--Columbia University classroom

Overheard by: yeah, cages are a great alternative

Dude to pal: You want tigers, bro? There's over five thousand tigers to choose from.

--W 4th & Jones

Male economics professor: I must confess that over time, in my lifetime, I'm a monkey.

--NYU Cantor Center

Overheard by: NYU student

Curly-haired woman: Did I mention that the penguins have returned to my lobby?

--113th St

Overheard by: McFreaky

Student: You know how snakes can swallow their food whole? What if a person swallowed a snake whole, and then the snake turned inside out, and then ate the person from the inside? That would be awesome.

--Stuyvesant High

WASP on cell: I said 'camels.' He wants to go to Radio City to pet the camels. Fucking psycho.

--Metro-North